The New Jerusalem

when i first started work, i worked really hard. then i stopped caring. "this isn't so great a job" "i can get a better job" "if they fire me, it's just a year of vacation paid for by the state". so i started slacking and just pretended to work. now i've come to the point where i'm not even pretending to wokr that hard. it's like dude, i'd love to click away from my yahoo mail when the supervisor comes by, but it's just so time consuming.

I get so tired of the infantalism of work. there's constantly someone looking over my shoulder, nothing about it is intellectually taxing, and periodically they give us cake. It's like elementary school with sexual tension.

note to self

write a cold-calling script to get people to have sex with me.

Guybert

It's possible that i don't hate my job, i think i may just hate co-workers. Like, you can never truly be friends with a co-worker, because if i talked about or did with my co-workers what i do with my friends, i'd probably be in prison right now. With co-workers you have to lead lives of constant small talk. I have to take all my rage and hate and anti-social behavior and hide them and do my best to chat like a midwestern housewife. .... something something fear of having someone ask to lunch with me.

last week i sat in a room for two and a half hours while a man read, word for word on a speaker-phone, 80 pages of powerpoint presentation. I question the value of that meeting, because i know how to read. For some reason my work keeps insisting on target marketing its meetings to pre-schoolers.

Powerpoint presentations really are storybooks for adults.

I just don't fit into corporate culture that well. They *INSIST* I wear pants. and they almost never let me communicate in sock-puppet form.

the Wobblies

I am very tired of anti-corporate people. You know, yeah, corporations are slowly chipping away at our "democracy" and leading us towards lives of economic slavery, but how can I hate them, they do so much for me. They've given me a starbucks on every corner, an ashton and demi on every magazine cover. When was the last time a hippy collective made me a summer blockbuster about crime fighting sex kittens. They can Mao and Lenin all they like, but until the black block anarchists can produce a copy of (some commy rag) as glossy and vacant as vanity fair, they're never going to win over the hearts of america.

Angel Dust

My life is very complex, and so often, I just don't know where to look for guidance. Some people say i should look to religion. Unfortunately, the bible is boring. Also, it doesn't really relate to my life: I'm like "Dear bible, is it ok for me to steal office supplies," and the bible is like "i don't give a shit, but you sure as hell shouldn't have sex with a moabitess". What I really wish was that there were something just as preachy as the bible, but hip and relevant and today, and interesting, full of my favorite sit-com actors. What the world needs is after school specials for urban 20-somethings.

Voulez vous...

French is a gendered language, like, in french, everything is either masculine or feminine. WHich makes me think it must severely impact the instantiation of gender roles in France, maybe that's why women couldn't vote there until 1952. It also makes me wonder what gender the new McGriddle sandwitch is. Like, is there a guy in McDonald's french headquarters whose only job is to decide what gender the new products are. Like "Le Sandwich du Crap" or "La Sandwich du Crapee". And, also, how do i get that job. I mean, it can't be a fulltime job, he totally hasn't had anything to do since le McRib. they probably make him fight off all the irate french farmers when they try to storm McDonalds.

Motion of the Ocean

The quality of a job isn't measured by the amount of money you make: It's the amount of time you get to spend messing around on the internet.