The New Jerusalem

the other night i was up at 3 am, instant messaging a friend in philadelphia arguing about what victorian britons would define as a "muffin'. and i realized, "this is the problem". when i wonder why i'm not leading the cocaine and blowjobs faggot lifestyle OUT magazine so frequently reminds me i need, the answer is that my friends are holding me back. I wish i had sexy friends. i wish i had friends who didn't have an opinion about judith butler and never used the word "construct" or problematized signification. i wish i had shallow, coke addicted gayboy friends with syphallis and significant consumer debt. because then i'd be exciting and cool, and alienated and bored enough that i'd spend way more time in the gym.

i really don't like the idea of civil unions. like, getting equal rights is all well and good and everything, but i just don't know that i've reached the point, yet, that i'm comfortable letting the government have a big, difinitive list of where all the fags live. call me a paranoid jew, but the paranoid jews were the ones who didn't get turned into soap.

some times I worry I'm just a paranoid liberal. then i remember that paranoid liberalism is just a natural defense jews have evolved over centuries of genocide and oppression. it's our answer to bird wings or squid ink. this sounds preposterous, but please realize that the only jews who are alive today are the one's whos ancestors had that little voice in the back of the head saying "let's get the fuck out of here" six months before the shit went down.

i can make this better.

"Don't flinch when I talk to you, you speed trap shaygetz."
- David Paymer

State and Main is a brilliant film about the triumph of Judaism over middle america. Its unrepentance is beautiful.

They say Beyonce doesn't like gay people, and that's fine, go right ahead. But 20 years from now, when no one gives a shit how bootyliscious she once was, who is going to remember her. The Faggots. Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, used to sell millions, used to win oscars. now no one cares... except the faggots. Beyonce can go ahead and alienate us all she likes, but she needs to realize why Liz Taylor and Sharon Stone spend so much time on aids charities, because they know once all the middle aged homosexuals are dead, so are they.

I'll be at the punchline monday, january 19. everyone should come.

i hate that gay america freaks out when you admit to getting older or in any other way willingly giving up your loveliness in some way. why do we so need facades?

am watching pretty in pink. recent viewing of new Freaky Friday remake sort of made clear for me how much i didn't pick up on when in my teen years, being alienated from sexuality, as i was. like, my parents think now the answer to my homosexuality is to "agree to disagree" and get angry when i mention it... but i never really thought about all the parenting they didn't do back then on subjects sexual. and yeah, they were probably more than ready to do it if i'd shown any heterosexual interest, and it is more difficult managing any "different" situation, but the point still remains, It'd have been nice to have someoen to care about me the first time love went awry, to hate the first boy who broke my heart, and, still, to help me and talk to me about this stuff as it goes on.

but pretty in pink weighs in because... i never really knew what emotions to attribute to people in so many teen-romance situations when i was younger because i had no teen romances. Ducky is a beautiful creation.

and teenagers have stopped looking like young adults to me. they look like overgrown children. can't explain it. i'm just getting older.

Some say Alcoholism is a disease. I disagree. If it were a disease, it'd have a disease name. It's not Alcoholitis or Non-hodgekins malignant Alcoholoma. No, alcoholism isn't a disease. It's a system of belief, like judaism, or capitalism. It is a philosophical meathod that recognizes all problems can be solved through faith in a really well made gin and tonic.