The New Jerusalem

please read Media Yenta and tvTattle. Both are excellent. MY's brother is a CPF, and tvTattle's webmeister is a CPA (close personal acquaintance). actually, he's not, he's the CPF of a CPF, one Mr. Ryan Tate. But i think that factors out to CPA. but not in the tax sense.

a guy emailed the show calling the host a "worker of iniquity". i'm thinking of using that on my taxes.

I'm really ill suited to the office. Seriously, anytime anyone says "Hi" to me before 10 am, i react as though I were being attacked by a wolf.

when oprah begins the change, do you think it will affect the economy?

if you read this blog and aren't sal or ryan, email me to let me know you do.

best week ever is an apostasy. until they hire me.

Every year, there comes a day when spring bestows it's full glory on northern california, green plants are sprouting and there are flowers and the smell of pollen, there's sunlight keeping you warm and breezes to ensure you're not too warm and birdsong and pretty boys who have decided not to wear shirts for the first time and ladies with babies and as life simply kisses you on the cheek, I always thing to myself, "Today is a difficult day to be a jew".

I hate myself.

Almost as much as I hate absolutely everyone else on the planet.

I love chatting. I love conversations that blow past like summer breezes. I love making my friends friends whom i've never met laugh. I love the feeling that what i'm having isn't a fatuous and illegitimate conversation, rather, it's a tile in a mosaic, a corner of a world where everyone is interesting and interested and game. But mostly just when i'm drunk. Red wine.

I am a social person, I"m a fucking butterfly. The thing is, if i'm going to waste the energy and breath to talk to someone, I'm not going to just say "hi" and ask about the elevator and say "wow, it's wednesday, almost friday". I'm going to tell them about the guys i've loved and why I hate president bush and i'm probably going to ask if they've ever had a drug addiction or an abortion. I hate chatting.

I have a new job. It's hard, being in a new environment, new people. I have to figure out a whole new strategy for avoiding eye contact. You know, I don't want to piss anybody off, but I also don't want to have to say "hi".

I want to be as subtle as rita rudner, as blowmebitch as dice and as smart as Margaret Atwood. i want to be a great, great comic.

I'm not organized. When I do laundry it's like a high school reuinion, most of the clothes i haven't seen for 10 years and they look like shit.

All my posessions are in a giant pile in the middle of the floor, and i get mad at myself because it takes me forever to find what i'm looking for. On the other hand, it makes it really easy to find things i'm not looking for, so maybe the answer to finding my rent check isn't a bunch of manila folders and filing cabinets, it's just saying "you know, what i'm really looking for is a scented candle and He-Man's faithful sidekick Man-At-Arms.

My favorite sport is the real world/road rules challenge. When Tom Brady gets drunk and participates in an on-air three-way. maybe then i'll reevaluate the NFL.

I get mad at myself for not being dedicated enough. Not working hard enough. I feel like I'm wasting all of my potential. But then i realize i'm not wasting my potential, It's just that the thing i'm best at in teh world is wasting time.

I have a new job. I'm now a writer at TechTV. I write a trivia game they're going to have playable on their web site along with their late night comedy shows. It is a really sweet, sweet gig. If I'm still in SF in two years, someone get a crowbar and point me towards New York, but until then, I've got a joke job. I'm working in a good direction and making decent money.

Also, I need to keep working hard at the comedy. Can't get too fond of coming home at night.

A week ago, I had one of those talks with tony sparks, the kind where he talks to you about your life and where it needs to go. Fuck, he is a shaman. He says i need to have a clear and detailed explanation of what I want to be famous for and why. That's a doozy. it's hard to hope. ahh, but what a situation to be in.