The New Jerusalem

My father refuses to refer to me as gay. he prefers disappiontment.

I know this guy and he's not particularly smart, and he's not particularly inventive, but we're friends, because he's really sweet. but the other day he was introducing me to some friends of his, some particularly butch friends, and he said, while introducing me "i hope he doesnt' creep you out" because i'm gay. And i just wanted to say, "you know, bub, i'll be doing the condescending here".

Ok, here were the things I thought of which I remember.

I was messing around with this guy: so cute. Little, blonde, lovely. we were having the best time things were ramping up towards me getting to wrangle some tail, then bam, he took his pants off to reveal the ugliest, creepiest, greyest, sea cucumber-lookingest schlong in the history of man. It was like the penis of dorian grey.

i know, brilliant, right. i'm not exactly selling it now either.

the others... i can't remember. worse, several of them were clean. how could i lose them?

Some day, monday, i was brilliant on the way to work. I intended to blog at work, then didn't, blog at home, didn't. I've been working very, very hard at work, and being funny has sort of pushed aside.