The New Jerusalem

SF's Finest
The other day one of my friends was giving me an inspirational 4th quarter of the basketball game speech, i forget why, but he asked me "what do want to be your finest hour?" and I realized i can't do fine for an entire hour. I can do ok for a while but then i lose track of things or i confuse the audience or the condom breaks, but i can at best, do ok for an entire hour. So what's my finest hour, I guess it'll have to be a clip show composed of those scraps of 3 to 5 minutes from my life when I was actually able to hold my shit together. You know, like Golden Girls did during the '88 writer's strike.

Love is in the Air
So I decided to be all healthy. i was going to be at work, going to have a snack- bottled water and carrots, cuz i'm all Courtney Cox Arquette like that. And I'd had a sinus headache from my allergies and i thought, you know, the water and the vitamin a would be good for me. So as i worked, my sinus headache slowly, slowly, slowly kept getting worse. I started getting dizzy, I started getting nautious. And as I knelt out on the street corner, vomiting up tiny little bits of carrot sawdust, I thought, you know, carrot sticks are really a bad thing to have to vomit up. But then, a moment later, i realized that under the right circumstances, i can opperate as a juicer. Take that, juice tiger.