The New Jerusalem

I got fired the other day. Everyone else went out to try to dull the pain with liquor or drugs, but i'm just not that kind of person, i can't take a percoset and forget all my pain. i'm always scared i'll become an addict or get puffy like chandler during the seventh through tenth seasons of friends, i'm just not that kind of person. Thank god for whores. there's something about looking deep into the eyes of a 27 year old failed actor with a three day growth of stubble on his ballsack that says "hey guy, that hollywood dream is yours for the taking"

The same company has fired then re-hired me twice in the past year. And, as a gay man living in George Bush's America, I realize, this is the closest to an abusive marriage I'm ever going to get.

At first I was sad I got fired, but then I realized, there's no HR department to stop me now.

I miss my job. I don't miss the money, i got severance and in-lieu-of-notice and arrears and all that. I don't miss the companionship. I hated most of the people I work with. I don't miss the artistic actualization, because I was writing dick jokes for a man who was a truly horrible performer. What I miss is free coffee and internet access. *sigh* and pressuring interns into moderately erotic situations.

I worry, a lot, that I'm a bad writer. That I'll submit something and someone will have to figure out a delicate way to tell me that it just doesn't cut it. That i'm self-indulgent or florid or my prose lacks balance.

But then I realize, it's possible I'm a bad writer, but it's certain I'm a writer.

I really enjoy calling people judas