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These words are the last testament of Jesus Christ in the New World.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I went to Phoenix on a trip for work, because I am an important television producer on the go. Actually, my job is primarily just to wrangle problematic female talent, yes ladies and gentleman, I'm a eunich!

So one of the folks I was there with is a secret lesbian, so she insisted on taking me to a lesbian bar. And you're probably wondering, "Hey Guy, a lesbian bar in phoenix, what's that like. Set the stage for us Guy." Ok, imagine a sea of 4 foot tall hopi dykes dancing to rumpshaker, and me, a brobdingnagian interloper into their midsts. I felt like I was in a re-make of the lord of the rings where all the hobbits were dumpy 45 year old native american women. This was horrifying to me, until I came upon a stultifying discovery. It turns out that in a gay bar where everyone is ugly, i'm kind of hot. You know, West Hollywood is an elysian field of perfectly ripened gay ass, but I never get to reap this bronzed and well muscled harvest. But in Phoenix, the fruit may not be as firm, it may not be as lustrous. But I got to pluck it. I got to pluck all over the place.
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My email is guyball@yahoo.com. I don't know how to put it in here as a magical link thingy