The New Jerusalem

President bush says there shouldn't be gay marriage, because it doesn't comport with traditional legal definitions of marriage.

I would like to say to president bush that i understand his point, this is something very new and very different that we're asking you to understand, and I appreciate that.

And I would also like to say to President Bush that I would like to buy Condoleeza Rice. Under traditional law, marriage is between a man and a woman, and under traditional law Ms. Rice, as a black woman, is a piece of personal property, like a purse, or a box fan. And even though Dr. Rice is a world-renowned expert on the soviet union and a classically trained pianist, under traditional law, i could force her to work 16 hour days chopping cotton, then come into her shack at night and sire a brood of mullato children upon her whom i could then sell, like puppies.

And however crass it may sound, please remember dear friends, unlike gay marriage, it does comply with traditional definitions of family.