The New Jerusalem

One of my hobbies is imagining how I would survive in a post-apocalyptic mad-max universe, like, how I would have to scrape for survival and protect myself against the lawless marauders who would pray on the weaknesses of kinder men. But the thing that probably scares me most is that there’d be no internet porn. Like, I could live without refrigeration or steralized water, but if there were no internet porn I’d spend the rest of my life and the only naked guys I’d see were ones who wanted to see me naked. There’s you’re hell,

As the only jewish kid in town, I ended up having weird respoinisibiliteies, like I always had to explain jewish stuff to other kids, and not just like Rosh Hashanna and Bette Midler. Weird stuff, like one time, in seventh grade, I had to explain to a kid what a delicatessen was. Which is a surprisingly hard thing to explain to a kid from a small farming town. I finally just told him “it’s like a bait shop, but for people”