Links
Archives
- 06/08/2003 - 06/15/2003
- 06/15/2003 - 06/22/2003
- 06/22/2003 - 06/29/2003
- 06/29/2003 - 07/06/2003
- 07/06/2003 - 07/13/2003
- 07/13/2003 - 07/20/2003
- 07/20/2003 - 07/27/2003
- 07/27/2003 - 08/03/2003
- 08/03/2003 - 08/10/2003
- 08/10/2003 - 08/17/2003
- 09/07/2003 - 09/14/2003
- 10/05/2003 - 10/12/2003
- 11/09/2003 - 11/16/2003
- 11/16/2003 - 11/23/2003
- 11/23/2003 - 11/30/2003
- 11/30/2003 - 12/07/2003
- 12/07/2003 - 12/14/2003
- 12/14/2003 - 12/21/2003
- 12/28/2003 - 01/04/2004
- 01/04/2004 - 01/11/2004
- 01/11/2004 - 01/18/2004
- 01/18/2004 - 01/25/2004
- 01/25/2004 - 02/01/2004
- 02/01/2004 - 02/08/2004
- 02/08/2004 - 02/15/2004
- 02/15/2004 - 02/22/2004
- 02/22/2004 - 02/29/2004
- 03/07/2004 - 03/14/2004
- 03/14/2004 - 03/21/2004
- 03/21/2004 - 03/28/2004
- 03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004
- 04/04/2004 - 04/11/2004
- 04/11/2004 - 04/18/2004
- 04/18/2004 - 04/25/2004
- 06/06/2004 - 06/13/2004
- 08/08/2004 - 08/15/2004
- 08/22/2004 - 08/29/2004
- 08/29/2004 - 09/05/2004
- 09/12/2004 - 09/19/2004
- 09/19/2004 - 09/26/2004
- 09/26/2004 - 10/03/2004
- 10/03/2004 - 10/10/2004
- 10/24/2004 - 10/31/2004
- 11/07/2004 - 11/14/2004
- 11/14/2004 - 11/21/2004
- 11/21/2004 - 11/28/2004
- 12/05/2004 - 12/12/2004
- 12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004
- 12/19/2004 - 12/26/2004
- 01/16/2005 - 01/23/2005
- 01/30/2005 - 02/06/2005
- 02/13/2005 - 02/20/2005
- 02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005
- 02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005
- 03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005
- 03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005
- 04/03/2005 - 04/10/2005
- 04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005
- 05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005
- 05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005
- 06/12/2005 - 06/19/2005
- 06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005
- 07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005
- 09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005
- 09/18/2005 - 09/25/2005
- 09/25/2005 - 10/02/2005
- 11/13/2005 - 11/20/2005
- 02/12/2006 - 02/19/2006
- 09/23/2007 - 09/30/2007
These words are the last testament of Jesus Christ in the New World.
Monday, September 08, 2003
Class
In case you hadn't noticed, I am overweight, bald, dress poorly and am socially awkward, so I'm sure you can guess that for me, homosexual life is a dream. Because, if you can count on any one group to look past shallow issues of appearance, it's gay men. Yeah, everything's coming up Milhouse. When you say "inner beauty" to a gay man, he thinks you mean your prada suit has a lining. They think emotional complexity means liking cher and maddonna. TV probably taught you to think gay men were more intelligent and artistic than straight men. TV lied. A gay bar is like a playground where absolutely every person is a 13 year old girl. "Eww, did you see what she's wearing?" "OMG, I Can't BELIEVE she's talking to him" Yeah, if you can make out with a guy, that's cool, but the main reason you go to a gay bar is to try to gang up on someone and try to make him cry.
So when I came out, it was so wierd, because my whole life I felt like I didn't belong, then I said I was gay, and finally, finally my life was supposed to make sense... and I walked into a world where everyone was well dressed, and had great bodies and only cared about how attractive I was, and I wondered god, what the fuck have you done to me, I upturned my whole life to come out of the closet only to find out gay guys would really prefer it if I'd stay in there. But then I said to myself "Hey guy, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. You may be fat, you may not be pretty, and other gay men may denigrate and mock your insecurities in those areas. but you're a smart, sensitive human being, and that means you're way better at mocking and denigrating people for their sensitivities. You can be a success in the gay community, guy, because if there's anything gay men value almost as much as beauty, it's cattiness. And if you were any cattier, guy, you'd have to shit in a litter box. And i have been able to become a successful gay man despite my appearance, because i'm a heartless tumult of rage and invective, but mainly because I have a huge penis.
In case you hadn't noticed, I am overweight, bald, dress poorly and am socially awkward, so I'm sure you can guess that for me, homosexual life is a dream. Because, if you can count on any one group to look past shallow issues of appearance, it's gay men. Yeah, everything's coming up Milhouse. When you say "inner beauty" to a gay man, he thinks you mean your prada suit has a lining. They think emotional complexity means liking cher and maddonna. TV probably taught you to think gay men were more intelligent and artistic than straight men. TV lied. A gay bar is like a playground where absolutely every person is a 13 year old girl. "Eww, did you see what she's wearing?" "OMG, I Can't BELIEVE she's talking to him" Yeah, if you can make out with a guy, that's cool, but the main reason you go to a gay bar is to try to gang up on someone and try to make him cry.
So when I came out, it was so wierd, because my whole life I felt like I didn't belong, then I said I was gay, and finally, finally my life was supposed to make sense... and I walked into a world where everyone was well dressed, and had great bodies and only cared about how attractive I was, and I wondered god, what the fuck have you done to me, I upturned my whole life to come out of the closet only to find out gay guys would really prefer it if I'd stay in there. But then I said to myself "Hey guy, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. You may be fat, you may not be pretty, and other gay men may denigrate and mock your insecurities in those areas. but you're a smart, sensitive human being, and that means you're way better at mocking and denigrating people for their sensitivities. You can be a success in the gay community, guy, because if there's anything gay men value almost as much as beauty, it's cattiness. And if you were any cattier, guy, you'd have to shit in a litter box. And i have been able to become a successful gay man despite my appearance, because i'm a heartless tumult of rage and invective, but mainly because I have a huge penis.
