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These words are the last testament of Jesus Christ in the New World.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

The New Kashruth

Diet Coke isn't a beverage, it's a declaration of sexuality. It's a caramel brown, carobonated version of the question "Does my ass look fat." No one drinks diet coke unless they look at themselves and think, goddamn, i have to be hot enough to catch a man. You can suck a dick once in college, it doesn't make you gay, but if you drink diet coke, you've given in, you've started to think of yourself as a sexual object and eventually a day will come when you say, "Damn, you want to know what'd go good with this? Cock!"

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My email is guyball@yahoo.com. I don't know how to put it in here as a magical link thingy