The New Jerusalem

Peroxide Durga

I secretly theorize that Martha Stewart and Hillary Clinton are the same person. I'd argue we could conceive of them as dual incarnations of a single diety, Martha the nourishing Parvati to Hillary's dangerous Kali, but, frankly, they just aren't different enough. It's not like they're separate flourishes of the same essense, rather, they're nearly identical women.

Both blonde, both successful, both prone to stretching the truth in front of federal grand juries. They're almost like Janus: two heads on one body. Martha performs the domestic with imperial tactics, Hillary attempts the imperial with constant refuge in the domestic. But at the core what is the same is the sort of waspy, passive agressive self-assertion. Once, on martha, she had on a guy who made red bean candy. he'd studied it his entire life, he was a master at it. at one point martha corrected him and pulled the bean paste he was working on out of his hands. That's it right there. We can all imagine Hillary doing the same thing to Bill.

At root is the weird period during which these women came of age. Looking at the photos in Hillary's shitty book, I finally had some insight into her. She was the most talented child in her community, but she was a girl. She had to express her talents in female ways: competance, management of men, adherence to social norms. I mean, throughout Hillary's pass through the counter-culture of the sixties she always remained firmly lashed to popular propriety. She struggled against her prison, but also, secretly, desired the complascency of the women who are content. Similarly, her hunger to achieve became stunted and perverted by society until the only way she could acheive was through a husband.

Martha must have led a very similar life. Beautiful, smart, hellaciously motivated. Prison, should it come for martha, will be no great departure. Until now, her career has been the careful maintainance and improvement of the prison of domesticity. It's so profoundly sad the way Martha's singular intention to create a bountiful, perfect home shredded her family. A domesticity too strong for mortals.

Dude, these bitches so need to date.